


after the last grain of sand in the hourglass falls

by cyberbrain



Category: L'Oréal "Time Engraver" Commercials, Thermos "Magic Cottage" Commercial, 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Bai Yu/Zhu Yilong Character Combinations, Fluff, Gods, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Magic, Original Mythology, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26941288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyberbrain/pseuds/cyberbrain
Summary: In time’s eyes, no one is special, everyone falls beneath its hand. Even Time Engravers....Shen Wei isn’t a Time Engraver anymore. He was supposed to have learned that by now.
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	1. time(less)

**Author's Note:**

> My eternal gratitude goes to glymr, without whom this story would have most probably stayed as a WIP forever! Thank you for being an awesome and patient beta-reader and cheerleader! <3  
> Another big thank you goes to ratbones, who provided so much encouragement and support! <3
> 
> Next update: Wednesday◝(*¯︶¯*)◜

_Let them have what I never will,_ the thought comes and goes, full of hope and love. Final. 

\- 

His God is dead. 

The news comes unbidden one night, written in beautiful calligraphy on a flying note. It materializes in front of the Time Engraver out of nothing and reading the words shakes him to his core. 

Although the Time Engraver has never met his God and doesn't know his name, he’s certain his God is real. His intervention has often been obvious. The Time Engraver had aged countless people, slowly tried to kill them through decay or advancing illness, only to find his changes ebbing away, disappearing, as if someone wiped them away. 

The Time Engraver shivers in the suddenly frigid tower and his focus dissipates rapidly. What had he been doing before the note had materialized in front of him? 

Aging someone? 

No—the high stool is vacant. 

The Time Engraver looks around. His eyes land on his brushes. Had he been cleaning his tools? 

No—that doesn't feel right either. But the memory feels closer. He had been looking at them, the Time Engraver remembers, and walks over—when had he gone to stare out the window? Looking down at his tools again—stray thread'atimes lie next to an empty handle and... Oh, yes! He had been making a new brush. A broader one that he'd meant to use for hair. It feels like it would be useless now. Why? 

A draft flows in through the window and wraps around the Time Engraver. It feels warmer where it breezes against his neck, reigniting an old, long-forgotten feeling. That, too, is a memory that escapes him. It's right there. At the forefront of his mind. If he can just... think harder, concentrate more, he's certain he's going to remember. 

It's not working. His mind is in distress. 

For the first time ever, all the clocks around seem to tick too loudly, too often, too much. The Time Engraver spins around, looking at them, somehow seeing them afresh. He doesn't feel the comfort they used to bring him. The steady flow of time they depicted—now looking like a losing race. But who is racing and why? 

The despair engulfing the Time Engraver's being suggests it might be him. That he'd had a job to do and failed. That he's too late. 

...That's beyond unacceptable! 

The Time Engraver might not remember his name or where he originally came from; he might not even know where he is going, but he will not be late. He grabs the floating note and a coat and runs out of the tower. 

\- 

Leaving the tower turns out to be a bad idea. All the energy of the surrounding life is too heavy, pressing into the Time Engraver from all sides. 

Although it slows him significantly, he doesn't let it stop him. Instead, he focuses on the brilliant light reflected by the moon, the way the leaves on tree branches gently sway in the wind, the vague scent of something salty. The Time Engraver walks confidently forward. 

He scours the lands, frantically looking for something to remind him of the feeling the breeze had stirred. Something or someone. Anything. 

But for a long time, nothing does. No one sees him as he passes through cities and walks along crumbling roads. Seasons change around him without affecting him. He watches the vivid green of trees turn into brown, then crumble into ash, seemingly without anyone's help. Is that how it feels for those he ages? Watching life fade away in a dazzling swirl of beauty and a vague feeling of a growing emptiness. Is that loss? 

\- 

Soon, the earth becomes covered in snow. It should feel cold, like the tower had been that last night, but the Time Engraver doesn't feel anything. There are no scents anymore, either. He walks further, inexplicably drawn to a mountain, hoping that what he's looking for will be there. 

He looks at the note again. It's now crumpled, torn in a couple of places, and if he had his tools he would have been able to fix it. The words are still readable, although faded, as if the ink is gradually turning less opaque. The Time Engraver dreads a potential future when the words would have become unreadable. He carefully places the note in his breast pocket, and resumes climbing. 

\- 

A small cottage sits, its chimney steaming, among the snow on a plain three quarters of the way to the top. It pulls the Time Engraver closer, the memory tugging at his mind once again. There's a scent wafting out of the small chimney too, something fresh and vibrant, fresher than the snow and more vibrant than the people he'd stopped seeing long before he'd reached the mountain. 

The door is unlocked and opens with a gentle push. Inside— 

Inside is nothing the Time Engraver would have expected to see. Flora of different kinds grow along every surface and hang from the high ceilings, which don't match the tiny look of the cottage from outside. It's disorienting in a way, yet the Time Engraver knows he's in the right place. Something beckons him to walk farther inside and find it. 

There are no walls in the cottage, just pillars connected by arches. The space is divided by the plants, outlining numerous intertwining paths like a labyrinth. In the distance, the Time Engraver sees the outside world through tall windows, which he is unable to reach no matter which path he takes. 

He stumbles around, lost in a seemingly tiny space, yet the call feels louder, closer. He keeps walking until he collapses in exhaustion and falls asleep on the soft leaves littering the floor. 

If his God had still been alive he would have praised his diligence, would have thought the Time Engraver breathtaking in his perseverance. Would have tried to help him. 

When he wakes, the Time Engraver doesn't know how long he's slept. A vaguely disturbed feeling rakes through his heart at the thought that he might have lost his gift of the ability to tell time. Standing up slowly, he realizes he's grown weaker. He walks, breathing harder and harder with every step. It's like his bones have been switched with lead, like his muscles have atrophied and are no longer able to support his weight. 

\- 

The Time Engraver is lost when he reaches his destination after a series of random turns. The call ceases suddenly and he looks up. On a pedestal covered in flowers is a small crystal bottle. It's splendidly polished and closed with a roughly-cut crystal bung; golden liquid fills half of it. 

His first thought is to drink it. 

He's reluctant to do so. 

For a while the Time Engraver just stares at the bottle. Above its long neck, light disperses through the bung in a rainbow large enough to span a few paces away from the pedestal. When the Time Engraver looks away to follow the colors, the call starts up again. His eyes snap back and the call stops. 

With confusion written across his face, the Time Engraver takes the bottle into his hand. Nothing special happens; everything remains as it had been, without even the rainbow moving from its place on the ground. Humming in thought, the Time Engraver tries to pull the bung out. 

It doesn't budge. He tries again and again and again but the bung stays, as if it and the bottle are one whole. 

The Time Engraver reaches into his coat's pocket and pulls out the note before placing the bottle there. The text seems the same as the last time he'd looked at it. He touches the words and sighs—it feels like his quest is complete. 

Slowly, exhaustion dragging his every step, the Time Engraver leaves the cottage. It's less snowy outside than it had been when he'd arrived but that doesn’t tell him how much time has passed. He starts the trek down but not before glancing at the top of the mountain in yearning. Surely, it must show a magnificent view to those who finish climbing. 

\- 

The Time Engraver makes it back to his city by summer. It's unbearably hot, the sun—too bright. He's sweating so much he's worried the note might become irreparably damaged. 

Stepping through the threshold of his tower brings him a feeling of security and calm he hadn't realized he'd been missing so desperately. He's home. 

Or... almost. There's still a feeling of absence in his heart. Like he's lacking something... or someone. It's a ludicrous feeling—The Time Engraver has never had anyone. 

Feeling reenergized from returning to safety, the Time Engraver bolts upstairs to his workshop. There, he takes the bottle out and tries to open it again; it still refuses him. Trying to remove the bung with his tools doesn't work and neither does magic. He sighs in defeat and places it on a small cushion on a high shelf. He has time, he can try again later. 

The note is a different story. Even though it's slightly moist with sweat and torn in a couple additional places, it's reparable. A sprinkle of ancient cosmic sand paired with a spell of intention successfully reverse the signs of wear and tear, although the ink remains unchanged. The Time Engraver places the note by the bottle on the shelf and steps away in thought. He should probably eat and wash himself. It's been far too long, according to his clocks. 

\- 

The next day, the Time Engraver is back to work. He summons people to the high stool and paints and chisels away at their lives. His days pass and everything is as usual. 

The bottle keeps refusing to open and the ink on the note seems to have found its permanent color—black faded to a couple of tones below mid-tone gray. 

\- 

It's all good and very normal until the Time Engraver summons a new man to his chair. There's something about him that tugs at the Time Engraver's soul. Another lost memory? He stares at the man for a while but nothing clicks together. In fact, the more he stares, the less sure he is of his ideas about the man. 

He appears young—probably no older than thirty. There are only faint signs of aging on him—barely discernible laugh lines and crow's feet; he doesn't have a single white hair and his hairline is like a young boy's. 

...Well, something needs to change. The Time Engraver picks up a brush, one that looks frighteningly large for what he's about to do. He means to push the man's hairline back by three hairs, no more. 

Before he does, he looks at the man's face again. Frozen in an instance of laughter, his grin is so wide the Time Engraver can almost hear him. His beard only highlights his smile. 

The Time Engraver would hate to age this one. To slowly kill him. 

Without looking, The Time Engraver uncaps a bottle of oil, letting some drip into a small bowl. He dips the brush's thread'atimes bristles in it and swipes at the man's forehead. 

An ugly purple bruise marrs his right temple immediately. 

Oh no! What has he done!? 

The Time Engraver frantically looks down at his brush—yes, it looks big but he's used it for this same purpose so many times before. It has never failed him. He turns to look at the table with the rest of his tools. What about the oil? He spots the bottle, tall and slender, made of spun glass, it sits closed and obviously unused at the end of the table. The bowl has a small amount of golden liquid inside and next to it—the bottle from the cottage—open. 

Eyes wide with shock, the Time Engraver glances at the man. It looks bad. It will definitely hurt him when the Time Engraver lets him go. He needs to fix this quickly, lest he keep the man too long. Humans don't fare well if they stay in a Time Tower for a prolonged amount of time. 

The Time Engraver runs downstairs—an ice pack first, then maybe a spell of intention and... he would have to check on the man often to make sure the magic hasn't affected him badly. He finds ice easily—it's a good thing it's such a hot summer—and runs back upstairs. Pressing the pack to the man's head, the Time Engraver raises his other hand toward him and focuses, squinting his eyes and envisioning the moment he'd looked at the lovely smile, no longer than a few minutes ago. 

When the Time Engraver opens his eyes and removes the ice pack, the bruise is almost gone. Seeing it's an almost imperceptible yellow, the Time Engraver sighs in relief. He snaps his fingers, letting the man go without any other changes. 

Perhaps he should rest. 

And maybe while doing that he should study the strange gold liquid. 

\- 

Testing the liquid doesn't tell the Time Engraver anything. It doesn't react to anything he does to it or anything he puts in it. Soon, he leaves it alone. 

The man had been interesting. The Time Engraver finds himself thinking about him more and more. The man had felt different than every other human the Time Engraver had seen. As if he was somehow... more than the rest. 

\- 

A couple of human days later, the man is back in front of the Time Engraver. There's a glowing aura around him, which the Time Engraver has never seen before on anyone else. He gently checks over the place he'd injured—clear and unblemished like nothing had ever happened. 

Confused, the Time Engraver wonders if the man is a godling, supposed to replace the God that had died? Had he created the godling? 

Without a way to be certain, the Time Engraver gives up on the thought and, this time, carefully picks the tools he uses and slowly etches in two faint lines near the man's smile. 

When he backs away to examine his work, the Time Engraver bumps his hand into—he looks down—the bottle from the cottage is floating in the air next to him. Glass and gold gleaming in the warm light of his studio, the Time Engraver gets another almost-there memory. This time accompanied by a rare but known feeling—fear. 

He doesn't know what the bottle is for; who created it; who poured the liquid inside it; why it called to him. Why it still calls to him. 

Unsure, the Time Engraver takes it out of the air as if someone is handing it to him. The bung pops out on its own and remains floating nearby. 

He stares at it, eventually saying, "I don't know what you want me to do." The first words the Time Engraver has said in... he's not sure, he thinks with some alarm. He'd used to talk to the people he aged. When had he stopped? 

As if in response, the aura around the man glows brighter, warmer, while the liquid begins swishing inside the bottle held in the Time Engraver's steady hand. He's not putting any more of that gold concoction on this man. The Time Engraver focuses on him—his handsome face and charming smile, his lean body and well-fitting clothes. Why does this man mean so much? How is he more than the rest? 

Did the Time Engraver himself designate this man so important? 

Before he can reach a conclusion, the Time Engraver is pulled out of his thoughts by a gold droplet hoovering steadily toward him. He doesn't try to stop it when it splashes into his eyes. 

He expects pain, maybe loss of vision, considering what had happened the last time the gold fluid had ended up on a living being. Instead, he feels more, sees more. 

\- 

A time a millennia ago, clear as an instance of pure happiness. 

Like a spectator in his own life, the Time Engraver sees his younger self from afar. Except for his face, he now looks nothing like the man he's looking at. 

It's early evening, the sun just beginning to set, slowly painting the sky orange. They're standing in a garden—the young him dressed in white robes with intricate blue details; his hair long and flitting around him in the wind. 

The Time Engraver now remembers when he'd cut his hair and taken off the ceremonial clothes. 

It had been shortly after he'd left this garden; when he'd officially become a Time Engraver. 

But before that, something else needs to happen, his returning memory tells him—the younger him needs to be blessed. 

Memories gradually flooding back, the Time Engraver watches as the time slice flashes briefly and skips ahead. A long-haired man dressed in all black robes and armor stands in front of his younger self, his back turned to the old one. 

Belatedly, the Time Engraver realizes he’s looking at the god who blessed him with his duty. 

The Time Engraver knows the moment, remembers every detail of it now, except for the God himself. He'd just forgotten this meeting. 

The Time Engraver blinks at the image unfolding in front of him. He tries to walk around, to see what the God looks like but he appears to be trapped in some kind of space-binding spell and can only listen as the God introduces himself as Kunlun and inquires about the young not-yet Time Engraver's name. Looking closer, the Time Engraver sees that although Kunlun looks real, he's not actually there—a projection of him is, but there's no energy coming off him; he makes no indent in the ground and no noise other than spoken words. 

"Surname Shen," he replies along with his younger self as the memory resurfaces. His people had called him Master Shen but he hadn't felt right calling himself a master in front of a God. 

Parts of the conversation, the Time Engraver finds he remembers now—being asked if he's ready to take on the responsibility and his enthusiastic agreement; explanations and tips; wishes for luck. But he looks on in fascination as Kunlun, now seeming less corporeal, hands the young him a bottle filled with gold liquid and directs him to drink it, softly petting him on the shoulder, caressing a warm trail up to his neck. 

Master Shen drinks the Time Potion and before the Time Engraver realizes, everything is ending, Kunlun is fading into nothingness and his younger self has turned to walk away. 

The memory space in the time slice fades out and his studio fades back in. 

\- 

As the Time Engraver looks at the man once again, he feels confused. The potion’s reaction to him is too significant to be ignored. Is it trying to tell him that this man is... is he supposed to be the replacement? For Kunlun? If so, should the Time Engraver support him? 

The Time Engraver deliberates his options. His hunch feels correct no matter how he looks at the situation. 

The realization that he knows what to do hits him. 

He takes a moment. As a Time Engraver, his powers don't allow him to hold onto too many memories, especially those of himself. 

"It's cruel," Kunlun had said long ago but Master Shen, who had never had a first name, hadn't seen any drawback to the idea. 

There is one, the Time Engraver thinks now. If he drinks the golden Time Potion, he'll lose his current memories and powers. He won't be able to track the godling’s progress and make sure he hasn't hurt his powers. He won't be sure if he'll know enough to settle down in a serene life... If he'll know to look for this man. 

The bottle shakes in his unmoving hand as the godling’s aura pulsates, expanding and shrinking. Maybe that can be of help. 

...Thinking on it any more is needless. The Time Potion interacts with one's powers. But for all the power the Time Engraver has, he can't do anything to help the godling or himself. Can't even make it so he can become his companion. How can he aid him if he can't even speak to him? 

Time is all the Time Engraver has. It's the one thing Master Shen and the Time Engraver had always had. And as something always present—it's worthless. 

The Time Engraver takes one last glance at the man's smile, snaps his fingers, and drinks the potion. 

\- 

Nothing happens immediately and the Time Engraver realizes there are a few things he should have done before drinking—he rushes to enchant an object, a pair of glasses are the first thing to catch his eye, with some memory prompts. A random character from a book title strikes him as suitable for a first name and he starts making documents that he knows humans use. But just as he swipes his hand over a card to change its structure and appearance, something fades from his mind and the final result ends up cracked and smudged. At least, the picture and name are visible, that should be enough for a card of identity. 

The rest of his memories fade away gradually. As he gathers clothes in a small bag, the Time Engraver looks at his tools and realizes he's completely lost the technical knowledge—he doesn't know what they are or how to use them. He tries to think of his work experience and finds it gone too. The clocks' ticking seems to suddenly sound in reverse, making the Time Engraver rush. He almost forgets his coat. 

When he steps out of the Time Tower and into the night, he's not a Time Engraver anymore. He walks down the street, trying to list the things he expects he'd need to do to make himself a life in the human world. Things like finding a home. The thought halts his steps and he looks back at the Time Tower—or rather where he expects it to be—only to not see anything there. 

He turns away and keeps walking. Seeing a leaf being carried by the wind, the Time Engraver raises a hand and, with fascination, watches as it doesn't react to him, doesn't slow down or speed up when he wills it. 

His powers are gone. He tells himself to forget, to not think of himself and the flow of time as related. He's not an Engraver. He needs to remember that. 


	2. is this what happens after the poem ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title is a quote from lostcap on tumblr. 
> 
> Next update: Saturday ✧◝(*¯︶¯*)◜✧

A few days, during which his final memories fade, pass in search of a home—it doesn't go well. He'd forgotten to take money when he'd left but even if he had, it wouldn't have helped—the workers at the letting agency don't seem to like his card of identity much and inquire into his well-being. He tries to reassure them but they don't believe him. Seeming worried, the two workers turn away from him and look at each other, whispering about calling authorities, and he rushes to leave before he gets into trouble. 

He runs and hides in a park. Finds a bench to sit on and closes his eyes. He feels lost. 

When he opens his eyes, it's morning and it feels like no time has passed. A bright light in the distance catches his attention but he doesn’t pay it any mind. He spends the day on that bench, watching the park goers; some of them offer him coins and he accepts them. 

\- 

It rains that night and he doesn't have an umbrella. The rain is light but without protection against it, it drenches him, soaking through his clothes and hair, so that even the slightest wind can chill him enough to cause him to shiver. 

He leaves the park, and wanders the streets until he spots a bus stop with an awning and decides to stand under it. Until it stops raining, he thinks and sits down on the wet seat. 

It keeps raining for what seems like hours, but realistically cannot be that long, since a bus would have surely arrived in that amount of time. At one point, he begins rummaging through his bag and finds a glasses case with a pair of round, black wire-rimmed spectacles inside. He puts them on and is hit by a wave of recollections. 

He is Master Shen, first name chosen by himself—Wei, he used to be a Time Engraver but gave up his powers to support the godling chosen to replace Kunlun. Relief at the revelation makes him stand up in excitement. Even though the godling's face is blurry in the recollection, Shen Wei doesn't feel lost anymore. 

A car drives by quickly, faster than what he's seen so far, and cuts his elation—this world is too big. The godling should be close, since Time Engravers deal with small locations, but as a human, Shen Wei won't be able to find him as easily. Not unless what he’d thought about the aura had been correct. 

Lost in thought, Shen Wei doesn't hear an elderly lady walk up to the stop and sit down. He only hears her when she asks, "Why don't you sit down, son?" 

Turning to look at her, Shen Wei feels strange. Aside from the people at the letting agency, no one else has tried to talk to him. He doesn't know what to say but the lady keeps looking at him, so he forces words out of his throat, "I'm not waiting for the bus." 

"Oh? Why are you here then?" 

"I'm looking for someone," Shen Wei tells her after a brief silence. "I don't know where he is." 

The lady laughs, "There's just us here." 

Shen Wei sits. 

"Do you think you can find him at this time of night?" she asks. 

He doesn't have a good answer. Before he can say anything in response, the lady tells him, "You look lost, child." 

He really is, if he thinks about it, he can't lie to himself. He has no idea where to go or who to speak to. Too much knowledge is still missing from his brain and he's so frightened. He feels desperately out of place. 

"I am lost," he agrees finally. Deciding to edit the truth, he adds, "I came from far away and lost most of my things, I have nowhere to go." 

The lady hums and falls silent. She looks away. Perhaps not being completely truthful hadn't been a good choice. 

Not too long after that, a bus arrives and the lady stands up. She takes a small rectangular object from her pocket and turns to him, "Aren't you coming?" 

He should. He's probably collected enough coins for a ticket to wherever the bus goes. 

Shen Wei follows her aboard and sits next to her, when she gestures for him to sit down. 

"My name is Liu Fei'er," she says after a while. "Why don't you stay with me for a while?" 

The offer is generous and considerate. Liu Fei'er is smiling at him, her crow's-feet-lined eyes crinkling in benevolence. 

Shen Wei wants to accept. He looks around, hesitating, before he answers her, "I'm Shen Wei. If you'll have me, I'll stay." 

Liu Fei'er nods and settles back into the seat's cushioning. Throughout the entire bus ride, she tells stories about her life and, for each one, Shen Wei finds himself seeing vivid images. She describes the house her husband built, two-stories and a garden she later planted with carnations. Shen Wei, as if remembering, as if seeing, imagines the white paint, the intricately detailed window shutters and the blooming red, white and pink flowers. She laments aging and letting the house decay and Shen Wei sees that too, the cracked faded paint, crumbling in places, everything dusty, the wilted flowers. 

"Why—" hasn't your husband helped fix it, he stops himself from asking. 

The rest of the busride goes by quickly; Liu Fei'er falls asleep and Shen Wei gazes at the landscapes they pass by. Electric posts and cables blur together, moving too quickly to be seen, obscuring the view of the distant mountains. 

\- 

Settling into a life with Liu Fei'er is easy. Living with her is calming, she mostly just asks Shen Wei to cook and dust the high shelves; she often retells books she's read, too. Sometimes she teaches him how to cook a new dish and sometimes he researches on his own. It's a good life, and Shen Wei has enough time to go out and roam the streets in search of that glowy aura. He looks for the godling ceaselessly despite knowing it's unlikely to meet him. When the feeling that he's missing something resurges, he reminds himself that he’d made the best choice. 

\- 

One day at the market, Shen Wei thinks he sees the aura's bright shine but it disappears before he can get to it. 

The next day Shen Wei wakes up to knocking at the front door and sees a man enveloped in a bright aura when he opens. 

Shen Wei stares. The man grins. 

"Hi," he greets Shen Wei like an old acquaintance. "Is Liu Fei'er here?" 

What? Stunned, Shen Wei nods. There isn't even a hint of recognition in the man’s eyes. There’s no explanation for the hurt Shen Wei feels at the realization. 

"May I ask who you are, sir?" 

"Zhao Yunlan, the local doctor," the man answers, crushing Shen Wei's deepest hopes and wishes. 

Shen Wei invites him in and goes to wake Liu Fei'er. He makes breakfast while the two talk in the living room. 

A loud mew rings from outside and Shen Wei looks up. The local cat—black and fat—is standing on the windowsill and giving Shen Wei a pleading look. He opens the window and leaves a small plate of meat. 

\- 

Zhao Yunlan returns the following week and then the week after that and Shen Wei concludes that he’s going to be seeing him regularly. Liu Fei’er seems to like him a lot. 

A couple of months later, Zhao Yunlan drops by the house on a Wednesday afternoon and asks to see Liu Fei’er as usual. 

Shen Wei lets him in without paying much attention and goes back to organizing a bookcase. He catches snippets of the conversation every now and then and ultimately realizes that Zhao Yunlan is telling Liu Fei’er he’s going to be away for a while. 

That’s a... pity, Shen Wei finds himself thinking as he carefully moves an hourglass so he can dust under it. But before he goes further with his thoughts, Liu Fei'er calls out, "Why don't you go with him, Shen Wei?" startling Shen Wei and causing him to almost knock the hourglass to the floor. He fumbles to catch it and replace it on the shelf before he runs into the other room. 

"I wouldn't want to impose on Doctor Zhao," he says without understanding exactly what he’s declining. 

Zhao Yunlan laughs at him. "Nonsense! You could help me!" 

It turns out it’s a mountain trip with herb picking as its goal. Not wanting to leave Liu Fei’er alone, Shen Wei agrees after a little persuasion. He packs his bag, and the next day, he and Zhao Yunlan depart. They ride in Zhao Yunlan’s car in silence until he reaches the base of the mountain and parks there. 

They ascend slowly, Zhao Yunlan pointing out herbs and flowers for Shen Wei to learn. When it begins to grow dark, with Zhao Yunlan claiming they're halfway to the top, they set up a tent and settle in for the night. 

Shortly before he falls asleep, Shen Wei finds courage to ask Zhao Yunlan the question he's always wanted to test him with, "Doctor Zhao, have we met before?" 

A sigh and then, "I didn't think you'd ask." That's all he says. Shen Wei feels confused. 

"So we have, then?" 

"...No. But you obviously thought we had," Zhao Yunlan says, voice perfectly level and emotionless. Shen Wei feels the words are strange. 

"You just seem... very familiar," he tries again. 

Zhao Yunlan chuckles, "My, Shen Wei, are you flirting with me?" and turns on his side to see Shen Wei blush and turn away. 

"Goodnight, doctor," Shen Wei says, and stops responding to anything else Zhao Yunlan tries to say to him. 

They reach the top around noon the following day. The view is spectacular—the whole city is visible from there. All the bustling life and noise that feel inescapable when down there is now almost invisible and definitely silent from the mountaintop. It's unexpectedly easier to breathe and Shen Wei feels some tension leave him. 

Zhao Yunlan shows Shen Wei which herbs he's looking for and they begin picking. A few hours and three full bags later, Zhao Yunlan decides they’ve got enough. They set up the tent again and take out the last of their food. 

Zhao Yunlan rains praises on Shen Wei's cooking and, when he asks about recipes, Shen Wei shares his knowledge readily. The conversation lulls then, and they soon find themselves watching the sunset in silence. 

"I used to play a game with my mother," Zhao Yunlan begins when the sky turns dark with only a few glittering dots. "She gave me a book about the stars and told me to learn where each one was. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't see a pattern in them when I looked at the sky... Can you guess what I did when she asked me to point out one and name it?" 

It takes a couple of seconds for Shen Wei to realize the question isn't rhetorical. He spends a couple more focusing on Zhao Yunlan's face, reading serenity. "You told her you couldn’t? I... don't know. What did you do?" 

"I made up a story. Picked one star at random and gave it a name I remembered; then I built a constellation around it and gave it an original name. My mother laughed at me. But you know what?" 

"Hm?" Shen Wei prompts when Zhao Yunlan falls silent again. 

"She joined in—she made up a whole story to go with my non-existent constellation and wrong star. She even remembered it!" A quick pause during which Zhao Yunlan laughs loudly, Shen Wei's eyes glued to him. "We kept doing it. A new story each time and she always remembered my random choices! Shen Wei, I—" he stops. 

"Yes?" But now tears are gathering in Zhao Yunlan's eyes, barely held back from sliding down his cheeks. 

"I really miss her, Shen Wei." A tear slips out and Zhao Yunlan quickly wipes it away, another follows and, before it can be erased from existence too, Shen Wei pulls Zhao Yunlan into a loose embrace. 

\- 

The next day, the trek down the mountain is quick, made even faster by the looming threat of hunger. They return to Zhao Yunlan's car before nightfall and an hour after that, they make it back to the city. Zhao Yunlan invites Shen Wei to dinner at a street food joint. He agrees after a second of feeling mildly put out. 

It's a good meal, warm and delicious, and Shen Wei praises it when they finish. 

\- 

The meetings with Zhao Yunlan continue and the Time Engraver feels himself growing closer to him than he expected. 

\- 

Days pass, turning into weeks, into months, blending together in Shen Wei's mind. In-between helping Liu Fei'er and meeting with Zhao Yunlan, life seems to reach a standstill. So when winter arrives and the first snow falls, Shen Wei feels some distress. It had just been summer, he'd been homeless and alone and then... not. Time had passed and he hadn't noticed and that realization hurts. 

It hurts so much it distracts him while he's washing the dishes and he drops a crystal glass. It falls and Shen Wei watches it, the motion appearing slowed down, as it hits the edge of a ceramic bowl and shatters into tiny pieces that ricochet off the sink's surface. It had been from a set that had featured in many of Liu Fei'er's stories about happy get-togethers. She'd used it a lot, Shen Wei knows. She'd liked it so much, she knew exactly when and where each other glass had been broken. 

Liquid drips down Shen Wei's face and he realizes he's crying. He screwed up. Liu Fei'er is upstairs, napping. It would be cruel to wake her, just to give her bad news. So, Shen Wei finishes washing up and collects the crystal shards, wishing he could force them to snap back together. Wishing he could rewind time on them. 

Liu Fei'er finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a plastic box in his hands. 

"What's wrong, dear?" 

Shen Wei startles at her voice. He hadn't realized so much time had passed. 

"I'm sorry. I broke your glass. This is—" 

"Did you cut yourself?" Liu Fei'er asks but doesn't wait for an answer, just grabs Shen Wei's hands and turns them over to inspect. 

"No, no," Shen Wei tells her. "I—" 

"Then why are you crying?" 

"It was your favorite and I broke it. I'm very sorry. I can look for the same at the market or maybe one of the neighbors might have one..." 

Liu Fei'er laughs at him. "What are you on about, Shen Wei? You don't have to do all that. It's fine." 

"But you liked it so much and you'd had it for so many years..." 

"Ah, it's a miracle it lasted this long," Liu Fei'er smiles softly at him and sits down. "It served its purpose. It's okay. Everything has to go one day." 

Yes, that's how the world works, isn't it? The Time Engraver knows that well. 

Shen Wei feels new tears welling up; Liu Fei'er pets his head and pulls him into a hug. She's warm, her arms strong and her sweater soft; Shen Wei returns the hug and lets himself cry. 

"You poor child... What life have you led to react like this to a broken cup?" 

Shen Wei doesn't reply and Liu Fei'er doesn't push. 

\- 

Zhao Yunlan drops by that night after dinner to invite Shen Wei for a walk and laughs when he hears the story. 

"It's hardly funny, Zhao Yunlan!" Shen Wei tells him, annoyed, and Zhao Yunlan laughs harder. 

They walk slowly through the city center as Zhao Yunlan makes up a story about a constellation. He talks about a whale and points out a few stars, going into detail about its shiny and colorful tail. 

"But why is it there?" Shen Wei asks. 

"I'm getting there!" A chuckle and Zhao Yunlan continues, "You see, the whale represents nature. These stars next to it—" he waves his hand at the sky, "—represent people. They fight against the whale; their goal being to kill it. But they fail every time." 

"So..." Shen Wei tries to follow the scraps of logic, "this is a metaphor about..." he feels he's failing to grasp the essence of the story, "fighting against nature being futile?" 

"Do you remember how the game goes, Shen Wei? You're supposed to come up with the story. I've already told you too much," tone playful, Zhao Yunlan refuses to give anything away. 

"All right, let me think," Shen Wei says and automatically takes a left turn. 

"Huh? Where are you going?" 

With confusion on his face, Shen Wei says, "I'm... taking you home. That's the way, isn't it?" 

"Why, Shen Wei, that's so kind of you! Yes, do come home with me!" The grin that graces Zhao Yunlan's face right then is magnificent and bright. And although he knows he's never seen it quite like this before, Shen Wei knows it inside his heart, like he's spent forever and a day staring at it. 

Zhao Yunlan leads the way to his home and invites Shen Wei in. Politely, Shen Wei enters, takes off his shoes and sits in the small living room, meaning to only stay for a bit. 

Zhao Yunlan decides to make tea and leaves the room, so Shen Wei takes a careful look around without getting up. The most interesting item he sees is an intricate wall clock, decorated with birds in flight, which are carved into the wood of its case. The clock face reads 10:27. 

Zhao Yunlan returns with the tea. A good conversation and a blink later, Shen Wei notes the clock now reads 11:56. 

"Time passes so quickly," he starts, getting up from the sofa, but doesn't finish because Zhao Yunlan invites him to stay more, reassures him that, "Time doesn't matter." 

And apparently, that's enough for Shen Wei because he sits back down and stays. Zhao Yunlan is grinning at him again, a smile that fills his heart, and this time Shen Wei finds himself leaning closer, tilting his head, until their lips press together. 

Sinking into Zhao Yunlan's embrace, lips meeting softly, the Time Engraver remembers more. The recalled knowledge is a sudden rush of understanding that almost knocks him to the ground; it's good that he's sitting down and better that Zhao Yunlan is holding him steady. 

But when they separate nothing seems to have changed for Zhao Yunlan. There's no spark of recognition in his eyes, no glowy aura, nothing. 

Momentary pain hits the Time Engraver, strong enough for the hurt feelings to show on his face. 

"Shen Wei, darling, what's wrong?" 

Unable to form words to reply, Shen Wei shakes his head. He needs time. It feels like it's all gone now. 

Zhao Yunlan is still holding him, the sweet aroma from the tea still present in the air. The embrace is warm like nothing the Time Engraver has felt before. Being in Zhao Yunlan's arms feels good, so good, he discards all thoughts about his past and presses himself closer. 

Closer. And a smile. 

Closer. And a polite offer. 

Closer, until there's negative space between them and too much heat around them. 

The next morning, Zhao Yunlan sends Shen Wei off with a kiss and a thermos full of tea. 

\- 

After that, time seems to speed up. Winter turns into spring, into summer, into autumn, and Shen Wei finds himself spending more and more time with Zhao Yunlan. 

The Time Engraver reconciles with his past, with the knowledge that his power is lost. He takes solace in the fact he's close to Zhao Yunlan. He pays close attention to him and reaches the conclusion that he's not hurt, that his godly powers are fine, probably only dormant, not yet awakened. Zhao Yunlan doesn't seem to be aging and appears to heal fast when he injures himself. 

One night, when it’s just the two of them, Zhao Yunlan cuts his palm when he lifts his teapot and its handle breaks off, teapot shattering on impact with the dining table and spilling everywhere. Shen Wei frets over him, bandages his wound and kisses it better when Zhao Yunlan demands. 

The next day, the wound is not only completely healed, but all traces of it are gone. There isn't even a hint of visible scar tissue. 

\- 

Winter arrives again, snow covers the earth, and a week later, Liu Fei'er passes away. 

The Time Engraver mourns her. Shen Wei cries, inconsolable despite Zhao Yunlan's hardest efforts to cheer him up. 

She leaves her house and everything in it to Shen Wei. It's a relief that he won't have to look for a home again but Zhao Yunlan looks a bit put off by the idea of Shen Wei staying there. 

"Why?" 

"I just think..." Zhao Yunlan says with a thoughtful expression on his face, like he's carefully choosing his words, "all these things here would remind you of the loss. Why don't you move in with me?" He tries a playful tone at the end but audibly gives up on it before he finishes the sentence. 

The Time Engraver likes the idea. But he doesn't feel it would be right to leave Liu Fei'er's house. 

"Why don't you move here?" Shen Wei asks instead of answering. 

The wide-eyed startled look on Zhao Yunlan's face is so delightfully funny, it makes all pain seep out of Shen Wei's being. 

"I—sure? If you want me, I'm here." 

"Of course." 

Zhao Yunlan stays that night, shares a bed with Shen Wei, and starts moving his things the next day. Within a week he's sorted his possessions and is dealing with the consequences of breaching his contract with his letting agency. 

\- 

The following night, Zhao Yunlan is back at his place and Shen Wei is alone. He watches the empty street for a while before closing the curtains and going to bed. It’s too early, Zhao Yunlan would say, but Shen Wei is tired and falls asleep quickly. 

He dreams. 

He’s back in that garden with Kunlun, but now, instead of standing to the side like a ghostly spectator, he’s back in his younger body, looking up at Kunlun. The beard and the gentle eyes are intimately familiar to him now and, when Kunlun smiles, the grin matches as well. 

Master Shen is looking at Zhao Yunlan. 


	3. guarding time until he comes home

In the morning, Shen Wei remembers the strange dream, questions its validity, wondering if his mind had accidentally merged two different persons. 

All doubts fade away when Zhao Yunlan comes to see him later in the day. With his memory refreshed; Shen Wei matches the feeling of standing close to Zhao Yunlan to that of standing next to Kunlun. 

His mind isn't playing tricks on him, Shen Wei is sure. The energy he'd felt emanating from Kunlun is the same he feels from Zhao Yunlan. He files the new knowledge away and offers Zhao Yunlan tea. 

Life goes on. 

\- 

Until two years later, when Shen Wei wakes to find new lines near his eyes. 

It happens on a quiet, rainy morning, shortly after Shen Wei had pressed a soft kiss to the back of Zhao Yunlan’s head and carefully left their bed to let him sleep in. Looking into their bathroom mirror, Shen Wei expects to find the two day-old deep purple bruise on his neck—one he’d almost had to beg to receive—so he doesn’t pay it much attention. His eyes sweep over his complexion, his stubbly jaw and faint rings beneath his eyes and—there! On the outer side of his eyes—crows feet that weren’t there before. Shen Wei swallows and looks down, spots a couple faint lines near his lips too. 

Yes, that makes sense. In time’s eyes, no one is special, everyone falls beneath its hand. Even Time Engravers. 

...Shen Wei isn’t a Time Engraver. He was supposed to have learned that by now. 

He hangs his head in disappointment and sighs. 

A low rustle coming from the bedroom catches Shen Wei’s attention and he’s suddenly struck by fear. If Shen Wei himself is aging, Zhao Yunlan must be too. He’s spent so long gazing at his face but never noticed any changes. What if he’d overlooked? What if— 

Running back into the bedroom, Shen Wei all but dives into bed, harshly pulling Zhao Yunlan up. 

That, of course, wakes Zhao Yunlan, “Baby? What’s wrong?” 

Shen Wei tugs him until they’re both sitting. 

“Xiao Wei?” Zhao Yunlan mumbles, his voice raspy from sleep. 

“I— Yunlan, I...” 

“What is it? Are you okay?” 

Unable to find words, Shen Wei just looks. 

At Zhao Yunlan’s eyes, 

at his lips, 

at his hair, 

at his neck. 

“Shen Wei? You’re wo—” 

Shen Wei kisses him, desperate, unquenching thirst ruling him. Zhao Yunlan grabs his chest. 

The verdict is... There’s nothing different about Zhao Yunlan’s face. It’s the same as that first time Shen Wei had seen him when he’d opened Liu Fei’er’s door—when he’d summoned a new stranger to his high stool—when he’d met Kunlun in the garden. 

The exact same face, the same plump lips, unmarred by any signs of time 

—of life. 

Zhao Yunlan is pushing him away, Shen Wei realizes. He lets go and pulls back. 

“Fucking talk to me!” Zhao Yunlan rushes out in apparent anger before softly adding, “Please, Shen Wei, if you’re hurting or—” 

“I’m fine!” 

_Sure you are,_ Shen Wei reads in Zhao Yunlan’s narrowed eyes and pulled-tight lips. So he adds, “I really am.” 

“So what’s this about, then?” A challenge. 

“...I was missing you.” 

Shen Wei sees Zhao Yunlan decide to drop the topic when he leans in to kiss Shen Wei again. Zhao Yunlan lets himself fall back and pulls Shen Wei with him. 

The sun emerges from behind the clouds in the afternoon, followed shortly after by Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan emerging from their bedroom. 

\- 

The thread’atimes lies lonely on the table, glittering like a displaced star, unmistakable in its rarity. The Time Engraver feels a pang at seeing it improperly kept like that before he remembers why it’s so strange to see a strand. Here and now. In Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan’s home. 

Shen Wei isn’t a Time Engraver anymore. Zhao Yunlan’s powers haven’t reawakened. 

So why would a thread’atimes even exist in this physical plane? 

Why? Shen Wei wonders. 

“Hm? ‘Why’ what, Xiao Wei?” Zhao Yunlan asks from behind and Shen Wei rushes to grab the strand and hide it from him. Perhaps his habit of thinking aloud is returning. 

“N-nothing. Just... I wanted to make spicy noodles for dinner but there aren't any peppers; I thought we had some left over.” Bland, meaningless words... but there’s no need to let Zhao Yunlan in on all the intricate ways that time can be woven when he isn't even aware of his powers. 

Shen Wei realizes Zhao Yunlan is speaking and looks up at him. 

“—ate the last one yesterday. You want me to go get some?” 

What Shen Wei wants is to pull Zhao Yunlan in bed and snuggle into him for the entire night. Maybe the entire following day too. 

He tells Zhao Yunlan to go to the market. He needs space... 

no 

he needs time... 

more time than he has available. 

Zhao Yunlan calls out a quick “Bye,” from the hallway and a second later the front door closes behind him. Shen Wei sighs in relief and looks around the kitchen. The thread’atimes in his hand feels warm. He puts it in one of Liu Fei’er’s old jewelry boxes that now only contains her favorite necklace. 

“Keep it, Shen Wei,” she’d said, “give it to someone who will like it as much as I did.” 

The thread’atimes falls swiftly next to the silver pendant, its golden glow illuminating the whole space; Shen Wei closes the lid and the light fades out. 

A minute later, Shen Wei walks into the yard to sit on the bench. He’s hoping that if he’s lucky, he might see the local fat black cat. 

Shen Wei isn’t lucky. 

He turns to sit, looks back at the house and sees the spectacular height of a Time Tower above his home. The stairs to the entrance are curling next to the house and, without thinking, the Time Engraver automatically runs up them. The door, made of wood darker than that of Shen Wei’s old Time Tower, turns out to be locked. Shen Wei tries to use a spell of intent but nothing happens. His powers are gone. He. Is. Not. A. Time. Engraver. 

But Zhao Yunlan's powers might be awakening—or re-awakening? Shen Wei doesn't know exactly what a Time God's job is; maybe he gave Shen Wei the wrinkles he'd spotted that morning in the bathroom. ...And then the thread'atimes in the kitchen... it makes sense. 

Maybe, after all, Shen Wei does have some luck. What an honour it would be, to see a God of Time ascend. Shen Wei’s life will have infinitely more meaning than he would have ever expected. The monotony of recording people’s lives on their bodies had been fulfilling in its own way, Shen Wei had enjoyed it. But being part of this, seeing Zhao Yunlan rise, is more than Shen Wei could have asked for. 

One day Shen Wei’s life will be over. He knows that. Perhaps, Zhao Yunlan will be the one to take it from him. Or so Shen Wei hopes, at least. It will be... good. A nice, mirrored ending that Shen Wei has already stepped into. 

Despite knowing what’s coming, knowing it’s inevitable and just, Shen Wei must admit he feels sadness at the idea of fading. 

But he would always choose the same—being with Zhao Yunlan is worth Shen Wei giving up his powers and becoming a mortal. 

Something soft brushes against Shen Wei’s leg and startles him. He opens his eyes, blinks through the tears he hadn’t felt come, and bends down to pick up the fat cat. 

“Hey. It’s good to see you,” he whispers at the wriggling black mass in his arms as he strokes along the side of a leg. 

The cat is male, Shen Wei notes. 

He climbs down the stairs and finally sits on the bench. After dropping the cat onto his lap and petting his head for a minute, Shen Wei remembers to check for a name tag. 

There isn’t one. ...So he must really be a street cat. 

“Should I name you?” 

The cat bats at Shen Wei’s face gently. 

“Okay, I’ll come up with a name.” 

But no ideas spark in his mind. 

\- 

Sixteen minutes and forty-seven seconds later, Zhao Yunlan finds Shen Wei in the yard. “So this is where you went! I was looking for you inside. I got your peppers... and you’re just playing with fatty over here.” 

“Thank you,” Shen Wei replies without meeting Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. Just a bit more time. “I’ve—I’ve seen him around a few times before,” he gestures at the cat, “I wanted to see if he belonged to anyone.” 

“He doesn’t,” Zhao Yunlan replies immediately. Then he sits and yawns. “I’ve caught him a few times before, too. Absolute fatty, just begs for food, meowing like a kitten. What’d you give him to make him shut up?” Shen Wei can feel Zhao Yunlan is looking at him. 

“Nothing. I’m petting him.” 

“You don’t pet me like that,” Zhao Yunlan says with a playful tone. 

“I’ll pet you any way you want,” Shen Wei answers without thinking. He’s looking into the depth of Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. Behind him, the Time Tower stands imposing and tall, taller than Shen Wei's own had ever been. 

“You okay?” The question is a whisper and Zhao Yunlan is leaning toward him, his eyes searching Shen Wei’s expression. 

Shen Wei looks away, tries to speak but the words lodge in his throat, he coughs. “Yes. Wondering what to name him.” 

“Da Qing.” 

“Hm?” 

“As in 'great celebration'. Do you like it?” 

It’s a good name. “I do.” 

\- 

That night, Zhao Yunlan halts as he kisses and embraces Shen Wei to take a long look at him but doesn’t say anything. 

“Yunlan, come on,” Shen Wei urges. 

Zhao Yunlan refuses. "What happened while I was gone today?" 

"Nothing." 

"You didn't possibly find..." Zhao Yunlan begins, a pleading look in his eyes, but Shen Wei keeps to his story. 

"Is there something I'm not supposed to find?" 

"Just—" Zhao Yunlan swallows, shakes his head. "See, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore." 

Shen Wei's heart twists. "Why are you keeping a secret?" 

"Because I love you," Zhao Yunlan responds immediately, without a hint of hesitation. 

Why it hurts to hear the admission, Shen Wei doesn't know. He just reels back, untangling himself from Zhao Yunlan's embrace and turns away. "I love you too," he echoes before he pretends to fall asleep and ignores everything else Zhao Yunlan says and does that night. 

\- 

Neither of them mentions the incident the next morning. 

Zhao Yunlan quietly sneaks out of bed and out the house. Shen Wei wakes alone, feeling too hot under the duvet. Seventeen minutes later and he's washed himself and left out food for Da Qing. 

As Shen Wei is making breakfast, he looks out through the kitchen window and a sense of urgency fills him at the sight of the converging clouds. He disregards it. Zhao Yunlan will come home and they might talk. 

It's not the end, Shen Wei tells himself, knowing he's only half-lying. He'll have time until the moment he doesn't anymore. But until that moment comes, he doesn't need to worry about it. 

The day passes uneventfully. But evening arrives and turns into night and Zhao Yunlan still hasn't returned. It's raining heavily and Shen Wei hopes that hasn't caused any problems. He stays up waiting for Zhao Yunlan. 

\- 

At midnight, Shen Wei decides to go out and look for him. Just as he's putting his coat on, there's a flash of light and a crash, like that of a lightning except that the light lingers, as if the sun had been summoned back to the sky. It shines upon everything exactly like daylight. Then the air near the Time Engraver fizzles, disrupted, energy flowing through it, and the light fades. It makes Shen Wei pause in shock and look around. 

Without regarding the rain, Shen Wei runs out, trembling, and looks up at the Tower, that same soundless pull beckoning him to it, just like it had brought him to the potion three years, two months, eighteen days, five hours and twenty-one minutes ago. He runs up the stairs and twists the handle. The door opens. 

Inside are more stairs and Shen Wei doesn’t think before he begins ascending. The air is heavy, stale, and dust rises with every step forward but he keeps going until he reaches the room at the top. There isn’t a door to it, the stairs just lead directly into a vast space that doesn’t match the Tower's apparent size. 

It’s a space devoid of life, almost empty and covered in dust. No one has been inside in a long time. There’s a table by the clock face window, a few tools he doesn't recognize the function of strewn on it. But in the middle of the room, where the main workspace should be, is something that the Time Engraver doesn’t expect. It’s a mirror... or something that functions like one because it’s not made of glass. More like... energy of some kind. Shen Wei is looking back at himself, his puzzled expression and ruffled clothes matching exactly. He raises an arm, and his reflection raises an arm in perfect unison. He walks around the mirror and sees it turning with him, his reflection following. 

Shen Wei looks away from the image and studies the room. There's some sort of mechanical contraption above the mirror, not too dissimilar from some of the things Shen Wei's own Time Tower had housed, except this one is much larger. It's not within reach and it doesn't seem to be doing anything, so Shen Wei doesn't try to fiddle with it. 

Aside from that, the room looks empty. Looking out through the clock face window, considering his findings, Shen Wei concludes that this cannot be a Time Engraver's Tower. 

If Shen Wei is right, then this Tower must be Zhao Yunlan's. Shen Wei spies the few people walking on the street at the moment and sighs when he doesn't spot Zhao Yunlan among them. Looking back inside, Shen Wei notices that the table has a drawer. He opens it and finds a notebook. 

The script is unreadable but there are hand drawn diagrams of... people and some kind of connection between them. Something flowing. Arrows point out of a person's body, following the rough lines connecting to the person on the other side. There are, what seem to be, annotations around the receiving person—fast messy scribbles when compared to the rest of the text. Shen Wei turns to the next page—another diagram, almost identical except this one has a reciprocating flow direction between both persons. One corner of the page on the right is torn. 

Shen Wei flips through a few pages of only script until he reaches another diagram. This one depicts the same outline of a person but has multiple outward flow connections that reach... a large inky blob that has an arrow pointing to it and one glyph next to that. 

Staring at the image, Shen Wei gets a sense that it looks like an abstract representation of a group of people. The glyph catches his attention again and Shen Wei finds that the longer he stares at it, the more he feels he understands it. He doesn't know how to pronounce it but he has a strong conviction that its meaning is 'mankind'. 

Turning to the previous diagram and focusing on the glyphs, Shen Wei deduces that the title above the reciprocating arrows reads as 'equal return of life energy'. 

Before he can think about what _that_ might mean he hears a hurried shuffle from outside and turns around. Except... he doesn't. Shen Wei is standing frozen in time, unable to move. He shouldn't be aware of the passage of time in this spell. 

A second later and Zhao Yunlan runs into the room. Shen Wei blinks and turns to look at him. 

"Shen Wei?!" Zhao Yunlan looks at him with astonishment. Then his gaze falls to the notebook in Shen Wei's hand and his whole body sags. "I'm sorry. I didn't..." 

"No need to apologize. I understand." 

"You do?" Confusion crosses Zhao Yunlan's features but he walks further in. 

"I do. You—" Shen Wei clears his throat, "—you're dealing with all that power suddenly returning to you. It must be hard. You are aware of who I am—was?" 

A brief silence and Zhao Yunlan confirms, "Yes." 

Shen Wei nods, smiling. "Then, do you know it was me who did this to you?" 

"...You haven't done anything to me, Shen Wei." 

"I might have accidentally put some Time Potion on you." 

"There's no such thing as a Time Potion." 

"What... do you mean? It was gold—" 

"What you used was a Potion of Awakening. When my memories returned... I looked for you. I thought this... return... was a happy coincidence, the universe working in my favor for once... but I couldn't find you. And then I did and—at first I thought you really had done it on purpose. That's why I was... harsh toward you. But you didn't know. ...You couldn't have known." 

"Yunlan..." Shen Wei opens but thought interrupts him. "How did you know to look for me?" he asks. 

"Sorry?" 

Unable to help himself, Shen Wei checks his theory. "You said you looked for me. Why me? How did you know I existed? You weren't awake at my Tower." 

"I—" 

Silence envelops the room and Shen Wei tries, walks up to Zhao Yunlan and caresses his face. "Kunlun?" he calls. 

"I'm not him anymore." 

"What happened?" 

"You saw the diagrams." 

Shen Wei desperately tries to make sense of the scribbles and doodles he'd just been looking at. "They detail the flow of life energy; the different ways it can be transferred between... mankind and... a god... You died. You gave up your godhood." Shen Wei means it to be a question but by the end of the sentence, he's certain of the answer. 

Zhao Yunlan looks away; a short nod follows. "In a way, yes. I was in love. I wished others to have a higher chance of experiencing what I did with you. I hoped that, unlike me... they would live their love." 

The words wash over Shen Wei like icy raindrops. "You're saying you... did it because of me? I'm not worth that!" 

"Of course you are!" Zhao Yunlan rebuffs before continuing, "I also hoped you could have that, too. I wanted you to have everything I couldn't." A tear slips out of Zhao Yunlan's eye and he hurries to wipe it away. "I had all this time and I couldn't do anything with it. I wanted to be useful." 

"Oh, Yunlan..." 

But there's nothing else to say, so Shen Wei pulls Zhao Yunlan into himself and gently rocks back and forth. 

"I'm sorry, Xiao Wei. After you used the Potion of Awakening on me, my powers began returning immediately. Slowly but steadily... until tonight. I didn't know this was here. I didn't think this is how you would find out." 

"The lightning," Shen Wei says softly, "that was your ascension." 

Zhao Yunlan nods. "I rushed to return to see you but I saw this was here and—you were inside, reading my notes. I'm sorry I froze you." 

Shen Wei shakes his head in wordless, meaningless response and clings harder to Zhao Yunlan. 

\- 

They descend the stairs slowly, still holding onto each other. Zhao Yunlan is paying attention only to the wet steps before him, while Shen Wei is looking around, observing the pattering rain as it washes everything. He's also afraid they might be spotted by a neighbour leaving an invisible place. 

_Gods are invisible unless they purposefully decide the opposite._

From his peripheral vision, Shen Wei spots Da Qing running up a tree and along a branch. He runs close to the end and meows in distress. But he's too fat and the branch snaps, it and Da Qing plummeting to the ground. Before Shen Wei can think about what he's doing, he reaches out the hand that isn't clutching Zhao Yunlan's waist and slows time. Da Qing and the branch land safely three seconds later. 

The sky flashes bright, the air cracks, and the light lingers again. Shen Wei gasps while Zhao Yunlan stares in silent adoration. 

A heartbeat later and Shen Wei gets pulled in for a kiss. 

"Xiao Wei," Zhao Yunlan whispers against his lips after. "Now it's—it's done. It's really—" a quick peck, "—done!" 

"What is?" 

Shen Wei twists his hand, speeding the light wind through it, making Zhao Yunlan's jacket flutter. 

"You ascended." 

"No, I—" 

The power feels different—it's stronger and building steadily. It hadn't felt like this before. And Zhao Yunlan, there's a radiance coming from him, which Shen Wei doesn't see but feels in his core—brilliant and warm, it's a connection they hadn't had earlier. 

"Are you feeling it now?" Zhao Yunlan whispers in his ear. 

Shen Wei looks at him. Zhao Yunlan is drenched; Shen Wei guesses he is, too, so he raises a hand and reverts time on the particles of their clothes. 

For a moment they're dry and fluffy. Then the rain repeats its job and drenches them again. 

Zhao Yunlan shifts their position from the Time Tower's stairs to inside their living room. Da Qing joins them one spell later. He runs around the room, dripping water everywhere. 

\- 

One hour, three minutes and 47 seconds later, Shen Wei is sitting on the sofa with a bundle of sleeping damp Da Qing wrapped in a teal towel on his lap; Zhao Yunlan is resting his head on Shen Wei's shoulder, occasionally turning to place soft kisses on his neck. 

The room is dry and clean again and they're both dressed in their pajamas. A big fluffy blanket sits folded at the end of the sofa, ready to be put to use. 

Shen Wei is holding one of Zhao Yunlan's hands and lightly petting it. "I'm not sure if I know how to... deal with the responsibility," he says. 

"I'll teach you," Zhao Yunlan tells him and reaches for the blanket. 

\- 

Shen Wei dreams of his Tower, lit up by a variety of lights and full of numerous clocks. He dreams of putting his books away and carefully moving the clocks and extinguishing every candle and turning off every light. 

He takes his coat and walks down the stairs with a suitcase. At the foot of the stairs stands Zhao Yunlan, waiting for him. He waves at Shen Wei and offers to take his bag. Shaking his head, Shen Wei refuses and gestures at a corner with a small smile. 

Zhao Yunlan turns, surprise written on his face, and opens his arms for Da Qing to hop in. 

\- 

The next morning, there's a rainbow in the sky. 

Shen Wei turns over Liu Fei'er’s hourglass and watches the bottom half begin filling. 

完 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, this fic is finally finished! °˖✧◝(*¯︶¯*)◜✧˖° I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next time! <3


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